This Isn’t a Job Interview—But You Still Need to Prepare

A virtual date isn’t a placeholder for the real thing. It *is* the real thing—just delivered through a screen. And while you’re not meeting at a bar or café, you’re still showing up, still making a first impression, and still reading signals in real time.

Whether you're reconnecting with someone from Hinge, starting fresh after a long DM exchange, or chatting through a lesbian online chat, video dates have their own rhythm. The dynamic is different, the vibe more focused—and often more honest. But only if you’re ready.

1. Check Your Tech, Then Forget It

Run the test call. Adjust your webcam angle (not from below, please). Make sure your lighting doesn’t turn you into a silhouette. Use headphones if your space has echo. Then move on. Tech is background—not the star. Don’t spend the first ten minutes apologizing for your mic.

2. Set the Scene Without Overdoing It

You don’t need to stage a designer apartment behind you. But a chaotic pile of laundry or a dimly lit wall says more than you think. Pick a clean, quiet spot. Bonus if something in the background shows a bit of your personality—art, books, plants, whatever’s real.

3. Dress Like You’re Meeting in Real Life (At Least from the Waist Up)

Pajamas send a message—and not a great one. Go casual, sure, but intentional. A clean tee and decent grooming go a long way in showing effort. It’s not about impressing someone with fashion; it’s about showing up like the date matters to you.

4. Don’t Over-Script—But Do Have Something Ready

Virtual silence is louder than in-person awkwardness. You don’t need a list of questions, but a couple of thought-starters help avoid the “uhhh” gap. Think stories, not facts. “So, what’s your week been like?” hits different than “What do you do?”

5. Use Eye Contact—Even If It Feels Weird

Looking into the camera, not just the screen, gives the other person a real sense of connection. It’s subtle—but powerful. Alternate between the two to stay present while maintaining that visual engagement that virtual dates often lack.

6. Keep It Short—But Leave Room for a Second Round

Forty-five minutes is the sweet spot for a virtual first date. Long enough to connect, short enough to keep the energy up. If things go well, you’ll both want a follow-up. Ending on a high note is better than dragging into awkward territory.

7. Avoid Multitasking—Yes, Even Notifications

Turn off Slack. Mute texts. Close every tab that might ding or blink. You wouldn't scroll Twitter during an in-person date (hopefully). Virtual dating deserves the same undivided attention.

8. Don’t Fake the Ending—Be Direct

If it didn’t click, don’t ghost. A simple “Thanks for tonight—I don’t think we’re a match, but I appreciated the convo” is classy. If it did click, say that. Drop a line like “Would love to do this again—want to set something up this weekend?”

The Goal: Real Energy, Even Through a Screen

A good video date doesn’t feel like a meeting. It feels like curiosity in motion—two people exploring what could be, minus the Uber ride and small talk with waitstaff. Keep it real. Stay curious. Don’t perform—connect.